dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Houston, we have a squirter
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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