Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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