i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize