Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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