I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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