well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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