I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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