The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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