you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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