Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize