i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm too high and old for this...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize