Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
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Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
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Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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