why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
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I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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