I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize