Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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