And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize