When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize