Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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