The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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