I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
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Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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