he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
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So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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