the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I supernannyed him into submission
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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