oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize