jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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