my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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