she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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