Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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