Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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