i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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