hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
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Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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