Already got asked if we're dating
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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