I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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