sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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