If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
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So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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