I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
where are my eyebrows?
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