Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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