So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
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I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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