bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
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the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
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Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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