found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
