I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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