I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
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The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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