I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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