found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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