Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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