im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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