I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize