I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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