whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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