I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize