Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
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It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
how does that bad decision feel?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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