Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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