does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize