Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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